someone owes me an orgasm
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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