The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
