We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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