"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
