Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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