I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
