did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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