i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I did not marry a roomba.
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