dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize