haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
