what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How's work?
Spinning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize