i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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