i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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