If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
