Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
