Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
