i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
