guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
