You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
