Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
