id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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