You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
