so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
