You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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