:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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