I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
