omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
honey bunches of taint.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
