Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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