so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
