I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
