He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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