Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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