No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He felt like a one man threesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
