Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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