Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
