Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
