I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you made out with another girl for some wings
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
