Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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