My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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