I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the day after is always just damage control
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
