I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
