If that was your dad, he is hot
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
