I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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