Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
