I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Houston, we have a blender
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
