K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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