Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
