"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize