i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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