I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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