i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
