so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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