Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
