i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
