Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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