6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
dude. I can hear the air.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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