Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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