Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
