he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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