Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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