Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
