Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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