all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
