He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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