He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
