I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
